It's Not the Baby Crying

I have just come to the realization that it's not the baby crying that annoys me. I'll explain.

While Wendy was running errands, I was tending our 2 1/2 month old Reese. She is our third child, and let me think......yeah, our 3rd child with COLIC. Colic defined:

"Colic is uncontrollable, extended crying in a baby who is otherwise healthy and well-fed. Every baby cries, but babies who cry for more than three hours a day, three to four days a week, may have colic. About 20% of babies get colic, and it equally affects boys and girls, first-born children and those born later. In general, it appears at around two to four weeks of age and can last for three months, or longer in some cases."

So, we have had our share of experience with crying babies - nothing new here. And today, while I was watching Reese, she began crying. I immediately began cycling through my mental laundry list of "Things to do to stop my baby from crying."

1. Hold her.


2. Walk aimlessly around the house with her.


3. Shake her (that's a joke in case any of you are a members of the PC police, Al Sharpton's National Action Network, or the Child Protection Services).


4. Place her on my hip at a 37.25 degree angle while keeping her arms bent at the exact same 37.25 degree angle.


5. Sing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."


6. Hand her off to Wendy.


7. Bounce her in the bouncey seat.


8. Change her diaper.

After making all of these failed attempts, excluding #6 as it was not an option (although it IS my favorite much of the time), I began to buckle down and look for something new and creative. There was an empty water bottle within arm's reach. I grabbed it, I squished it, I rolled it, and I crinkled it. Doing this made a really, REALLY, annoying noise. In fact, a noise second only to the sound of the vacuum on the scale of "noisy annoyingness." But, IT WORKED! I did it for at least 10 minutes straight. By the time I was done, the water bottle was so hashed up it was recycle ready. Al Gore would be so proud.

I started thinking about the noise the bottle was making and realized that in any other circumstance, that noise would have driven me nuts. But, in this case, it didn't bother me. It was actually kind of fun watching Reese's reactions to the different types of noises. Then, I thought about the vacuum, and how I don't mind the vacuum when it is running to keep the baby from crying (a trick we have used since our first child).

So, I came to the following conclusion: It's not the noise that bothers me, it's the cause of the noise. I don't like the idea that our little baby may be in some sort of discomfort. Of course all bets are off when she is crying during the NBA Playoffs!

What's Their Story???

Combining these two photos, make up a story about the lady in the first photo. These are photos I took while on a business trip to Chattanooga, TN (another story in and of itself). Be creative and have fun with it. Type the story in the "comments" section.

Funny Things Kids Say...

My kids are always saying the funniest things, and the last couple of days are not an exception. However, as a disclaimer, the things they say are always more funny in person. But, I will post them for those who know my kids well. You will get a kick out of them.

1. Like many parents, Wendy and I are committed to teaching our children how to work and clean. Well, one of Jared's "jobs" is to make sure our little fridge (we have this fridge for drinks) is full of water bottles at all times. In order to teach responsibility and accountability, we taught him that if he doesn't do his job, the rest of us won't have cold water to drink. We explain that it is important to everyone that he do his job--just like a business, when one person fails to perform, others are also penalized.

So, the other night we were getting ready to eat dinner. I went to the little fridge to get some water for everyone, and there were only a couple of bottles left in the fridge.

I said to Jared, "We're almost out of water, so after dinner you need to do your job." To which he replied, "Dad, I'm out of business now."

I guess he really does understand what happens when people don't do their jobs!!

2. Steve and Marissa stopped in Dallas on their way to Houston. One morning Jared was snooping through their stuff and found some Starbursts. Marissa gave Jared a couple of them and he came and showed Rowan and me. I asked Jared if he would give one to Rowan, to which Rowan jumped up with excitement. Jared began unwrapping the candy and acted like he was going to put it in his mouth. Little Rowan, who is a late bloomer in terms of speech, began begging Jared -

"PWEASE, PWEASE, PWEASE, PWEASE, JAWWED, PWEASE, PWEASE..."

Growing tired of the taunts, I said, "Come on, Jared." Rowan, seeing another avenue then said, "Yeah, come on dude!"

This is hilarious to those who know little Rowan, because of the way he talks. He knows what he is saying, but sometimes the rest of us don't. Maybe candy is the key to getting clear phonics.

3. Every Friday one of the parents of Jared's preschool class comes to the school to read to the class. Today was Wendy's turn, but she is feeling sick with mastitis (infection of the breast in breastfeeding mothers). So, when I dropped Jared off at school, I told the teacher that Wendy wasn't feeling well, but would try to make it. Well, she wasn't able to make it and when picking Jared up from pre-school, his teacher wanted to speak to me away from the kids.

She said, "I want to tell you something funny. The kids were asking who was going to read to them today, and I told them that Jared's mom was going to try to make it but she may not be able to. When one of the kids asked why not, Jared blurted out, 'because my mommy's boob hurts really bad.'"

KIDS!!!