Phone Hiding

I am sure, at one time or another, you have done it – PHONE HIDING. And, if you haven’t, you will after reading this.

By “phone hiding,” I do not mean the kind of joke that I played on one of my bosses. That was pretty funny, though. My former boss thought it was so funny to steal and hided cell phones. When someone would lay their cell phone, he would take it, hide it, and get a kick while the owner would spend hours looking for it. In fact, I wonder how much I spent looking for my phone. Anyhow, one day, during a week of major corporate meetings (they flew in all the managers from across the country), I decided to get him back. During a 15 minute break, I took his phone and hid it in the ceiling above the ceiling tiles. Then, when the meeting resumed, I constantly called his phone. It rang and rang until he finally realized it was his phone. So, in the middle of someone’s presentation, he had to climb on the table, removed several ceiling tiles, and search for his phone. He was pretty embarrassed, and I felt super satisfied.

Now, back to the other kind of “phone hiding” – It is super useful at times. I have used it many times to avoid unwanted conversations. For example, if I am sitting in my office and I notice one of my “special” employees heading my way, I can quickly pick up my cell phone and begin talking as though I were having a real conversation. When the employee gets to my office, I just give my “this will be awhile” signal, and voila, they disappear, usually to solve the issue on their own.

Or, say you and another person get stuck listening to another person’s super boring (insert, “annoying,” “embarrassing,” “dumb,” “illogical,” etc.) story. When you realize you would rather be stuck in a hot car, on a Phoenix summer, with the windows rolled up, and the ignition off, you simple reach into your pocket, grab your phone, put it to your ear, and say one magical word, “HELLO.” Then, you just walk away – and make sure you do it with confidence, like you just got a call from someone super important. Also, make sure you do it before your equally suffering counterpart does, because if they have been orientated on phone hiding (aka “hiding behind the phone”), they may get the jump on you.

You may be asking yourself, “But, what if I get stuck in that scenario, but I don’t have my phone with me?” Great question! I have been in this situation many times, and I have a solution. Use your hand! That’s right - YOUR HAND. This is ONLY for advanced phone hiders and here’s how it works. Just turn one ear towards the storyteller, then put your hand up to the other ear, duck your head while tilting it towards your fake phone, and say “HELLO.” Then, walk away with the same confidence you have when you actually have a phone. I have even used my wallet at times.

I hope this helps in times of unwanted conversation and unwanted potential conversation.