Last week, Steve and I went to see the new Bourne flick, Bourne Ultimatum. Personally, there just aren’t that many movies that I get excited about. I have come to the point where I don’t even like to go to the theatre to see movies. I prefer to watch them at home – It is much more comfortable to fall asleep on our Luv Sac as opposed to the theatre seats.
But, I knew there would be no need for a Luv Sac with Jason Bourne…Wait, that doesn’t sound right…Actually, it kind of does. I have a huge MAN CRUSH on Jason Bourne. In fact, I want to be Jason Bourne so badly, I have almost convinced myself that, with a tiny bit of training, I CAN BE Jason Bourne (except for the ability to speak every language known to man and pygmy).
But, I knew there would be no need for a Luv Sac with Jason Bourne…Wait, that doesn’t sound right…Actually, it kind of does. I have a huge MAN CRUSH on Jason Bourne. In fact, I want to be Jason Bourne so badly, I have almost convinced myself that, with a tiny bit of training, I CAN BE Jason Bourne (except for the ability to speak every language known to man and pygmy).
At the conclusion of the movie, while Steve and I were walking out, surrounded by all sorts of potential “perps,” I whispered to Steve, “Just think, these people have no idea who I am. They don’t realize that they just watched a movie about my life.” Steve, possessing very similar DNA as myself, felt the same way. So, no doubt, he noticed the same thing I did as we were leaving the theatre. Just outside the door, a suspicious looking Asian man (okay, maybe a boy), had his cell phone pointing directly at me. Knowing that a photo of my location could easily be passed on to the NSA and CIA, I swiftly grabbed the phone from the agent’s hand, smashed the phone, removed the SIM card, then knocked him out with a round house kick to the chin (in the spirit of full disclosure, this all happened in my mind only). I didn’t want to kill him, because he was just following orders. It’s not his fault his superiors are corrupted by greed and want of power.
I know this all sounds silly right now, but once you see the movie it will all make perfect sense. You too will walk out of the theatre as a sophisticated, highly trained, government assassin.
Check out this trailer--
9 comments:
I understand there will be one final Bourne movie where he kicks the Terminater's butt, out cooks Martha Stuart, out sings Pavoratti, pinch hits for A Rod and takes over the starting QB position for the Colts. The guy definately makes James Bond look like a wimp.
I loved this movie, but apparently not as much as you did!!!
Chuck Norris wears Jason Bourne Pajamas !!
Ben forgot to mention the two queers cuddling up behind us during the movie. Upon first seeing these two gay-men, I was disgusted and could not imagine participating in such a repulsive act. Then, after watching Bourne on the big screen, I felt like cuddling up with Jason, himself. Like Ben, I also have a man-crush.
I told Ben that it was a little weird talking about the man crush. He assured me it was sports related, like, a lot of guys use the term "man-crush" on John Elway? Can anyone describe that term in a non gay way?
Right now, tons of burly men have a man crush on Tom Brady. It just means that they wish they could be like Tom Brady - The best quarterback in the NFL, loved by his teammates, rich, and dating Giselle. How is that for explaining it in a non-alternative lifestyle way?
I think the term should possibly be re-named. The term crush means you like them not that you want to be them. Covet means you want to be them. So you have a man covet, which now goes against the 10 commandments. So you men are just as petty as us women when we say, "Oh, I'm so jealous of her butt." However, you don't just want their butt you want to be them. wow.
Jason Bourne may be all that and more but can he recruit truck driver's? That, my son, is the true measure of a man. Love, Mom
Kevin you had me laughing so hard with the pajama comment!
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