Smokin' Times

It all started with a Saturday afternoon family trip to the Guitar Center. It sounded like fun and everyone was up for it. The Guitar Center has much more than guitars. It has just about anything you can think of as it relates to music and production. They have guitars, amps, drums, keyboards, editing software, synthesizers, turntables, and anything that goes along with these things. But, the kids’ favorite items are the concert items – the smoke machines, the strobe lights, the disco ball, and moving colored lights. There is a room that contains all these items, and the kids have a blast in there. The music is blasting, the lights are flashing, the smoke is flying – what kid (or dad) wouldn’t love this?

So, I got to thinking – Why not have something like this at our house? It would altogether change the definition of “party house.”

One smoke machine, strobe light, black light, and rotating color light machine later – our playroom became an instant PARTY ROOM!!

First, we fired up the smoke machine. It was awesome! We got the room so full of smoke we couldn’t see across the room. Then, we fired up the colored lights. Here’s what it looks like as it cuts through the smoke:

Then, we decided to turn it up a notch – We busted out the black light! Check out these pictures:

Based on Rowan’s (3 years old) mixture of forced laughter and a face that looked like he just sucked a lemon, I could tell he was a little spooked. So, we moved to the ultimate – STROBE LIGHT IN THE SMOKE!! Talk about the supreme idea! I decided that I was pretty much the coolest dad in the world at that moment. I should mention at this point, Wendy was putting Reese (7 months old) to bed.

LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!! I pumped the smoke out and hit the strobe light. The kids were going crazy, jumping and screaming, dancing and bouncing. It was pure party excitement.

Then, after a few minutes of this, I notice Jared (5 years old) running for the light switch. This being his first experience with a strobe light, he didn’t realize the magic of it – at one moment the wall is 3 feet away, the next moment the wall is plastered against your face – and you don’t even see it coming! BANG! He nailed the wall hard, dropped to the ground screaming while holding his face. Rowan, already a little on edge before Jared’s collision with the wall, heard the loud bang and ran for the door like a gazelle. BAM!!! Lesson learned by Rowan - at one moment the door is 3 feet away, the next moment the door is plastered against your face – and you don’t even see it coming! Now, Jared AND Rowan are on the ground screaming while holding their faces. I was also on the ground screaming…in laughter. I was laughing HARD. (Now, imagine what Wendy was thinking. She heard two loud bangs followed by intense crying and laughter).

Party at our house ANYDAY – ANYTIME!

Don't Step On the Ducks

Got this from a buddy:

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven. Don't step on the ducks." So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity with this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same punishment as the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on... very tall, tan, muscular, and with good hair. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being with you for all of eternity?" And the guy says, "Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck.

People Watching at the Phoenix Airport

Last week, I had a meeting in Phoenix. While at the airport, waiting for my return flight, I decided to put my book down--I just watched the people around me. Here is what I saw (photos taken with my camera phone, but much funnier in person):

2nd Runner Up:

(Notice the high water pants)

1st Runner Up:

Notice the arms resting on his gut for his reading convenience.

Grand Champion:

No, I am not kidding. He was really wearing those shorts with the wife beater! To make it even better, he has that perm-style hairdo. He watched way too much Three's Company!