Why Does Marriage Make Sense? Look in the garage.

Is your garage clean? Are you married? If the answer to both questions is "yes," then chances are you are happily married – If you are single and have a clean garage, you need to find a hobby.

"Huh? What are you talking about Dr. Ben?" Well, I will tell you a story to illustrate.

About 4 months ago a beautiful young woman decided that she wanted her garage to be nice, clean, and organized. She even wanted that special garage floor epoxy coating. So, Wendy Sally called to get a bid on the cost for coating her garage floor.

"Uh, yes ma'am, we have a special seasonal discount that you can take advantage of, but only if you jump on it within the next 3 SECONDS!! $2500 doll…." [click].

Sally decided that she wasn't in the mood to get bamboozled, at least not on that day. (That's not to say that the next recovering meth addict that knocks on the front door selling magazines won't have a shot. Or the next 14 year old runaway selling plastic horse toys and cap guns for $20 a pop won't find a buyer). So, she decided to talk to me her husband Sven (looks a lot like Brad Pitt).

"It's the garage. I don't think we need to worry about having a garage with a floor that we can eat off of. Let's just get some cabinets, install them, and organize the bikes and stuff." – Sven

"Yeah, but I want a nice, clean garage. There are spiders and stuff out there. I want to do all that other stuff, too, but let's also get the floor done." – Sally

"No, it's not worth it. I don't think we need to worry about that right now." – Sven

"What should we have for dinner tonight?" – Sally [Woman-Speak Translation: I will have to devise another plan of attack, but I know one thing – WE ARE GETTING THAT GARAGE COATED.]

So, the months passed and both of them didn't put too much thought into the garage, accept when they hit their shins on the crossbar of a kids bicycle. Or, when they twisted their ankle on a Razor scooter blocking the doorway. Or, when they tripped over the pile of coats laying on the garage floor from 2 months ago. Or, when it took 15 minutes to find a 2 ½ inch screw needed to hang a picture. Or, when….[going on forever and ever].

Then, one day Sven came home from the office to find all of the stuff that was IN the garage OUT of the garage in the driveway.

"I thought this weekend would be a good time to clean the garage." – Sally [Woman-Speak Translation: Ha, ha sucker. You thought I forgot about this whole project, but now you don't have a choice but to do it!]

"Wow, that's crazy you did that. I guess I don't really have a choice now." – Sven

"Yeah, and I was thinking that we could just apply that (pointing at 3 boxes of garage floor coating kits and a pressure washer) while we are at it." – Sally

"Hmmm…" – Sven [Man-Speak Translation: What the!!! What was she thinking? I had plans to do something else, anything else. Man, now I have to be out here for 3 days in the heat, and all for a garage!]

Needless to say, Sven fired up the pressure washer and went to work. After about 2 minutes of playing with the pressure washer, he began to enjoy it. It was kind of therapeutic. In fact, the entire project began to grow on him and he started getting excited about it.

3 days later, the floors were covered with a shiny new epoxy coating and the garage smelled like a new car. Sven and Sally were both happy and fulfilled with their project. Sven realized that had he not been married, he would have never done the project. So, all the credit goes to Sally except for most of the work, like the whole process of cleaning and coating the garage floor.

For a step-by-step explanation on the process of coating your garage floor, see below...

Steps To A Coated Garage Floor

Friday:

1. Wait for your wife to take most of the stuff out of the garage and leave it in the driveway, except for the heavy stuff. That's your responsibility.
   
2. Try to think of as many excuses as possible to get out of the project, then realize you are trapped like an itty-bitty mouse – a little, hungry, innocent mouse looking for cheese when all of a sudden BAM!!! – Your head is caught in a massively strong trap. MOST OF YOUR STUFF IS OUT ON THE DRIVEWAY!
   
3. You look at the pressure washer and start to realize the possibility that there may be some fun involved. But wait, wipe the drool and hold off – it's not time yet.
   
4. You have to move all the heavy stuff that your wife couldn't move out into the driveway. (NOTE: I would recommend doing this project during a mild weather month, but I would be wasting my time since you are not the one planning the project).
   
5. Okay, NOW you can fire up the pressure washer and have at it.
   
6. Let the floor dry.
   
7. Pressure wash it again! Why not? It's fun.
   
8. While the floor is still damp, pour the acid etching on the wet floor and scub with a firm brush. It doesn't take too long and you will get a nice workout on your arms and back. Not to mention the calorie burn.
   
9. Pressure wash it again! This time be sure to get all the etching rinsed off. By now, your garage floor will be clean enough to eat off of. And, it will smell pretty nice too.
   
10. Now, you have to let the floor dry. It should be completely dry before you apply the coating. Notice how I said should be completely dry. Because of the extensive pressure washing, it may take a little longer than normal to dry. (Here's hoping that mine was dry enough - there were some spots that were questionable.) If you need an excuse to watch a game on Saturday, just tell your wife that you are worried that the floor isn't dry enough yet.
    
11. As night approaches, move your valuables into the house or backyard. Tomorrow is Saturday and there will many dawn breaking garage-salers perusing the neighborhood for bargains. They may see your stuff and decide that FREE is the best bargain they will find. It may be a good idea to park your cars in the driveway to help shield the stuff.
    

Saturday:

1. If necessary, continue to let the garage dry. Depending on your climate, it may take longer. We live in a humid area, so that made a difference on drying time.
   
2. Tape off the necessary areas. (No, your wife's mouth doesn't count – kidding, of course).
   
3. Bust out the floor coating kit. We bought ours at Home Depot. It was the Rustoleum brand and the cost was around $60 per kit. Each kit is enough for a 1 car garage and has the etching, coating, and activator. I also know that Sherwin Williams has their floor coating product.
   
4. You will mix the activator into the coating and stir for 3 minutes. Then, you will want one person to start painting the edges, corners, and ledges.
   
5. While one person is working on the edges and corners, begin rolling the floor in 5x5 sections. After each 5x5 section toss the included paint chips in the air for decoration.
   

The project really doesn't take that many man hours and is easy to do. I can't believe people can charge $2500 to do a 3 car garage.

**You actually don't need a pressure washer to do this. It just makes it more enjoyable.