Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Why Does Marriage Make Sense? Look in the garage.

Is your garage clean? Are you married? If the answer to both questions is "yes," then chances are you are happily married – If you are single and have a clean garage, you need to find a hobby.

"Huh? What are you talking about Dr. Ben?" Well, I will tell you a story to illustrate.

About 4 months ago a beautiful young woman decided that she wanted her garage to be nice, clean, and organized. She even wanted that special garage floor epoxy coating. So, Wendy Sally called to get a bid on the cost for coating her garage floor.

"Uh, yes ma'am, we have a special seasonal discount that you can take advantage of, but only if you jump on it within the next 3 SECONDS!! $2500 doll…." [click].

Sally decided that she wasn't in the mood to get bamboozled, at least not on that day. (That's not to say that the next recovering meth addict that knocks on the front door selling magazines won't have a shot. Or the next 14 year old runaway selling plastic horse toys and cap guns for $20 a pop won't find a buyer). So, she decided to talk to me her husband Sven (looks a lot like Brad Pitt).

"It's the garage. I don't think we need to worry about having a garage with a floor that we can eat off of. Let's just get some cabinets, install them, and organize the bikes and stuff." – Sven

"Yeah, but I want a nice, clean garage. There are spiders and stuff out there. I want to do all that other stuff, too, but let's also get the floor done." – Sally

"No, it's not worth it. I don't think we need to worry about that right now." – Sven

"What should we have for dinner tonight?" – Sally [Woman-Speak Translation: I will have to devise another plan of attack, but I know one thing – WE ARE GETTING THAT GARAGE COATED.]

So, the months passed and both of them didn't put too much thought into the garage, accept when they hit their shins on the crossbar of a kids bicycle. Or, when they twisted their ankle on a Razor scooter blocking the doorway. Or, when they tripped over the pile of coats laying on the garage floor from 2 months ago. Or, when it took 15 minutes to find a 2 ½ inch screw needed to hang a picture. Or, when….[going on forever and ever].

Then, one day Sven came home from the office to find all of the stuff that was IN the garage OUT of the garage in the driveway.

"I thought this weekend would be a good time to clean the garage." – Sally [Woman-Speak Translation: Ha, ha sucker. You thought I forgot about this whole project, but now you don't have a choice but to do it!]

"Wow, that's crazy you did that. I guess I don't really have a choice now." – Sven

"Yeah, and I was thinking that we could just apply that (pointing at 3 boxes of garage floor coating kits and a pressure washer) while we are at it." – Sally

"Hmmm…" – Sven [Man-Speak Translation: What the!!! What was she thinking? I had plans to do something else, anything else. Man, now I have to be out here for 3 days in the heat, and all for a garage!]

Needless to say, Sven fired up the pressure washer and went to work. After about 2 minutes of playing with the pressure washer, he began to enjoy it. It was kind of therapeutic. In fact, the entire project began to grow on him and he started getting excited about it.

3 days later, the floors were covered with a shiny new epoxy coating and the garage smelled like a new car. Sven and Sally were both happy and fulfilled with their project. Sven realized that had he not been married, he would have never done the project. So, all the credit goes to Sally except for most of the work, like the whole process of cleaning and coating the garage floor.

For a step-by-step explanation on the process of coating your garage floor, see below...

6 comments:

sunni said...

hahahah sounds like a conversation that Morgan (my husband) and I had when we moved into our house. But I am not as smart as Sally (wendy) and have not began moving things out of the garage. He says we need to get the perfect stuff to coat it. Thank you for entertaining me. By the way this is Sunni your cousin!! How are you?

Kaitlan said...

Wow, what a project. We all know who wears the pants in the family. Hahahah!

Ben said...

Hi Sunni! Yeah, just move the stuff out and that should do the trick. Hope you guys are well!

Ben said...

I wear pants too, they're just really, really, really tight!

Anonymous said...

Great story Ben! Your storeis always make me laugh. Wendy cracks me up... smart girl that one is. I'll have to take some lessons. :)

Heidi said...

Hey, where do the other 3 people that helped get credit?!!
:)