Leadership and Self-Deception

Joyce, my mother-in-law, sends me this book - the title of the book is Leadership and Self-Deception. Now, just put yourself in my place. At first, I seriously wondered if she was trying to tell me something. "Does she really think I have this huge problem of lying to myself?" I started thinking of anything I could have done to compel her to give me this crazy book. But, it turns out that it was recommended to her, so she read it and loved it. She then bought a bunch of copies for people she thought would enjoy it - at least that's what she told me!

I highly recommend this book. I know the title leads one to believe that it is one of those "business improvement" books, and it is. But, it approaches the issue from the perspective of the individual. So, by using this method, its principles and practices apply to anyone in all roles of life. I think it is especially helpful to mothers, fathers, husbands, and wives.

It is a quick read and you may find that your view of others will improve. The book teaches us that we all have a problem, and the problem is we oftentimes don't see our own problems. Hence, the "self-deception" part of the title. There are times that we betray ourselves, but are unable to see that we are doing it. And, frankly, it is this self-betrayal that causes most of the problems in our lives and our world. So, if we can be taught to see how we betray ourselves, we can work at reducing the amount of self-deception in our lives. And when we do this, our lives are more enriched and meaningful.

Here's one quick example from the book on how we may betray ourselves (epecially useful for those with kids):

"One night a number of years ago, when David was just an infant, I was awakened by his wailing cries. He was probably four months old or so at the time. I remember glancing at the clock. It was around 1:00 am. In the flash of that moment I had an impression or a sense or a feeling - a thought of something I should do. It was this: 'Get up and tend to David so Nancy can sleep.'

"Now, this sort of sense is very basic," he continued. "We're all people. I've grown up as a person, as you have and as Kate has. And, when you are out of the box and seeing others as people, we have a very basic sense about others - namely, that like me, they too have hopes, needs, cares, and fears. And on occasion, as a result of this sense, we have impressions of things we can do for them, things we want to do for them. You know what I'm talking about?"

"Sure, that's clear enough," I said.

"This was such an occasion - I felt a desire to do something for Nancy. But you know what?" he asked rhetorically, "I didn't act on it. I just stayed there, listening to David wail."

So, the question I ask now is - what do you think happened next?

IF YOU HAVE ALREADY READ THE BOOK, PLEASE DON'T GIVE IT AWAY, but feel free to add any humorous comments.