Wednesday, November 28, 2007

6 Rules Every Blogger Should Live By


Heidi "tagged" me, which means I am supposed to give 6 random facts about myself - UH, I don't think so. Instead, I will give 6 tips that every blogger should know (smile on my face):

1. Do not try to impress everyone with stories of a sugar-coated, make-belief life

Everyone knows who you really are and they know your life is just as dysfunctional as the rest of us. You aren't fooling anyone.

2. Don't force everyone to listen to music everytime they visit your blog

I learned this one from experience. I had songs on my own blog and even I was annoyed everytime I pulled it up.

3. No, No to Po, Po

Do not post poetry. The only exception is - UNLESS YOU ARE A GOOD POET. You may be asking, "How do I know if I am a good poet?" Just because your husband, mother, [insert any family member], tells you they like your poetry does not mean you are a good poet. In fact, the only good indication of your poetic talent comes with publication. If you have published poetry in the past, you are safe to post poetry on your blog.

4. Watch your comments

Take advantage of your administrative powers when it comes to comments. DELETE, DELETE, DELETE. If your significant other thinks it is funny to make a comment with embarrassing commentary to your posting, you have every right to eliminate it - you just do. However, you must be careful. With so much power it is easy to get carried away. You could end up using your power of deletion on innocent bystanders. This will alienate your folks. Just like any other power in life, you should be judicious.

5. Don't force it

You're not going to have something interesting EVERY SINGLE DAY. So, don't spend half your day trying to figure out how you can create some artificial event in your life just so you can blog about it. Put your camera away and do something important - like PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR KIDS. Artificial events are boring.

6. Don't send lame "tag" games

Most people, when participating, end up violating tips 1 and/or 5. This makes you an accomplice in a blogging felony.

17 comments:

Colette said...

Well Ben, I do believe you have appointed yourself the Blog Policeman. Love, your Mommy p.s. Are you going to delete this?

Matt and Dionne said...

OUCH! Definitely no sugar-coating here!

Anonymous said...

Oh come on, Ben! You're just jelous that you don't have 6 interensting things to post about yourself. So I will do it for you:
:)
1.Ben loves cologne and watches. I always like to smell them when I use their bathroom. ha ha. :)
2.Ben wears tight black bike shorts occasionally when he rides his road bike. He would like to compete in a triathalon. (ofcourse he wears the bike shorts under his normal shorts) I only know about these funny padded shorts b/c I spend way too much time at their house and occasionaly see laundry).
3. Ben Tivos football games and doesn't like to know who won (even if the game was two days ago).
4.Ben is very organized.
5.Ben eats very healthy (almost no fat!)
6.Ben likes to make rules about blogging.

Now everyone can post things about Ben since he can't do his own Tag!

Ammon said...

I totally agree with you on 1-5... but especially #2!

Colette said...

Tip #6. Don't criticize other fellow-bloggers. I think you really stepped INTO IT this time. This little note comes from you ever-lovin' Mommy Dearest

Colette said...

Correction, that would be tip #7

McKenzie Larson said...

I'm impressed by those who actually attempt to blog at all, since I started a blog forever ago and haven't posted anything since March. I'm sure there's a rule that you should update your blog at least every quarter =P

Anonymous said...

McKenzie, you could have posted something new on your blog in the time it took you to make that comment! I would love for you to post some pics of the new house!
Hope you guys had a great Thanksgiving!

Anonymous said...

Cologne, jewelry, “tight” biker shorts? Do you need to tell us something Ben? I will still respect you.

Ben said...

Mom - Yes, I do believe in the rule of law. Blogging anarchy is unhealthy for the entire blogging society.

Ben said...

Heidi - HILARIOUS! You had me laughing super hard on this. Here are my responses:
1. Yes I do, and stay out of my linen closet.
2. QUIT LOOKING, HEIDI!
3. Best way to watch a game, commercial free - I can watch a 3 hour game in a third of the time.
4. Most of the time.
5. Most of the time.
6. Happy to provide the service.

Ben said...

Mom, don't worry. Even though you forgot what comes after 6, Matt is good at math (inside joke to a few of us).

Ben said...

Nate - NO YOU WOULDN'T, I KNOW YOU WOULDN'T. You're just trying to trick me.

Anonymous said...

I'm not TRYING to see your laundry when I come over! :)
Nate, Maybe it runs in the fam b/c I do have some pictures of Rowan wearing little girl's Christmas tights and a tuttu. (It's actually sooo cute!)
Even Jared occasionally likes to dress up with the girls...
Wendy quickly addressed this and made the boy's Spiderman, Mr. Incredible, and Wolverine costumesa available for dress up.
:)

Marissa said...

Rule #7: Don't tell other bloggers who are also your readers what to do as you may alienate them.
I am actually in the process of adding music and posting some poetry about my artificial trip to the Ukraine and then tagging you to write a poem about something special! I believe that will be breaking as many rules as possible all in one shot!

Marissa said...

i agree with the music thing..but today i was so sick of my music that i went to my girlfriend's ( i know kevin hates that word..but that's the right word to use) blog and listened to her playlist while i worked bc she has such a good mix of music! so sometimes, it can be very nice for your readers. so im glad she broke ben's artificial blogging rules!

Ben said...

Marissa, don't make me bust out rule number 4 on you!