The Road

Occassionally, I like to read fiction. Most often, it is a classic. Something I read in college or something that I wanted to read in college, but didn't have the time. However, this year's Pulitzer Prize winning fiction, The Road, is an instant classic. It is one of the best books I have ever read. It is about a man and his son in a "post-apocalytic" type of world, a world void of almost every convenience we now have. Food is scarce and so are the people. Not only is it creatively written, it is perfectly framed. While descriptive as a whole, it is vague enough to allow the reader's imagination to kick in. Most of all, it is very real. The author (Cormac McCarthy, All the Pretty Horses) does not try to over-embellish the way most authors do these days. If you want to read picture perfect fiction, this is it. I highly recommend it.

The novel describes itself as:

"A father and his son walk alone through burned America. Nothing moves in the ravaged landscape save the ash on the wind. It is cold enough to crack stones, and when the snow falls it is gray. The sky is dark. Their destination is the coast, although they don't know what, if anything, awaits them there. They have nothing; just a pistol to defend themselves against the lawless bands that stalk the road, the clothes they are wearing, a cart of scavenged food -- and each other."

Here is an exerpt, and while reading it, think of yourself in a world where survival is the main concern. No electricity, cars, or jobs. Just trying to live day-to-day:

"No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes. So, he whispered to the sleeping boy. I have you."

Go get it!

I Have Never Heard A Scream Like That....EVER

Finally, I have something new to write about.

As most of you know, I work from home. As a result, I see a lot of Wendy's sister, Heidi, and my little nieces, Elle, Riley, and Kora (the explorer). Today was like many others. I had just wrapped up my third conference call of the day and Wendy had just returned from taking Jared to preschool. Elle, Riley, and Rowan were out in our backyard playing.

Heidi and Wendy were in the dining room discussing the topics of the week -- redecorating our home and Heidi's house hunting (okay, okay, Heidi's home hunting has been a topic for the past four months). I overheard them talking about the schools in an area that held Heidi's interest, so I brought them a map with the school boundaries outlined. We spent about 5 minutes talking about the schools when we heard a scream.

It was little Riley, and it wasn't her normal screaming/crying. She was obviously in some distress. Heidi jumped up and sprinted for the back door. While running just behind Heidi, Wendy yelled, "Maybe it's ants." Texas has some mean fire ants. Wendy stopped at the kitchen sink to grab a bunch of paper towels in anticipation of the ants. As Riley's screams didn't lessen in intensity, I got a little worried and ran behind Wendy. Wendy opened the back door, and when she did, I heard something I have NEVER heard before. It seriously gave me chills. When I heard it, the first thing that came to mind was, "Oh no, Riley is dead, or being mauled by a grizzly."

Wendy slammed the door shut and her face was white. She looked at me and said, "It's a snake!" So now, as a result of Heidi's "Bate's Motel" scream and Wendy's door slam, I am picturing Riley's body halfway down the throat of an anaconda.

I asked Wendy how big the snake was. She said, "It's huge, and don't open the door. IT IS RIGHT THERE AND IT WILL GET IN THE HOUSE IF YOU OPEN THE DOOR." I couldn't see it, so I decided to go through the garage and around the house.

I would now like to pause and remind you of the "Four Foot Hole" posting. I quote:

"While at Lowe's we found the shovel section. I can't believe how many different shovels they have. I was honed in on all the different options of shovels. I was in this man-trance when Wendy tried to distract me with a lame post hole digger. I then began to explain to her that anyone who knows anything about digging would NOT use a post hole digger for this project. I bought the shovel of my choice and took it home."

I spotted my trusty shovel on my way through the garage and rounded the house with shovel in hand. I saw Heidi's heart beating through a vein in her forehead. I asked her to point the way to the snake. With tears rolling down her panic-stricken face, she couldn't even speak. She just raised her trembling hand and forced a point. That's all I needed. I tasted the air and headed for the unfortunate reptile.

There it was, coiled up and ready to strike. I assessed the situation and wasn't too excited about smashing a snake with a shovel. I poked it a little, and it struck my shovel with the ferocity of a rabid ferret. By this time, Heidi, Wendy, and our neighbor Shelley, were all advising me in a panic. You would have thought that each one of them had received years of personal tutoring in Steve Irwin's "Poisonous Snake Handling" course. Either that, or they stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

I took my first swipe and about the time I made contact, all 3 women screamed. I look over, and there was Heidi holding Riley and Wendy holding Rowan. Elle was standing by the door, probably wondering why the adults were behaving so silly.

I missed the head, but put a nice gash in the side of the snake. It was REALLY mad after that. It started striking at the hose, it was striking in the air, and even at itself. Then, it made a "slither" for it. It was heading straight for Shelley's yard. There was no way I was letting that happen, so I swept in back the other way and gave it two more nice cracks. The head shot did the trick. I scooped it up and set in on the lawn for all to see.

Afterwards, Heidi said when she came out to see why Riley was screaming, she saw the snake crawling over Riley's feet. So, she jumped over the snake, then asked Riley to run. Riley was frozen, and so was Heidi. Finally, Heidi mustered the courage to grab Riley. That's when Wendy opened the door, and went into her panic.

A little while later, Jared got home from school. Wanting to get a 5 year-old boy's perspective, I told him I had something to show him, covered his eyes, and guided him to the snake. We got right up to it and I removed my hands. The first words out of his mouth were, "Whoa, DAD! That is totally awesome! Can I hang it in my room?"

By the way, I should mention -- it would have been much more difficult to kill a snake with a post hole digger.

Link to Photos

I am now realizing that many of you haven't seen the "Photos" link included on this blog. Previously, it was tucked towards the bottom of the page. You will now find it at the top on the right hand side. Click on the linked entitled "Family & Friends" under the "CHECK OUT THE PHOTOS" heading. It leads to another blog that has photos of friends and family. Send me photos of you and your family via email and I will post them. Everyone will love to see them. I try to add photos frequently to keep it fresh.

Twinkle in Your Eye

Here is the newest Sunday posting. Short and simple -

What did the Savior mean when he said, "The light of the body is the eye...?"

Horses and Reindeer

Jared and I went to a Dallas Mavericks game. They were playing the Milwaukee Bucks. This was Jared's first NBA game (he's 5 years old) and I was excited to see how he responded to the athleticism and speed of the players combined with the excitement of the crowd. I had no doubt that his eyes would be glued to the greatest show on hardwood. I was prepared to explain the intricacies of the Flex offense, the importance of player movement in the 1-4 Quick Hitter, and all the advantages and disadvantages of Run & Jump pressure.

Before leaving our home, Jared had been playing outside with his friends. He was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and as we were getting into the car, Wendy asked if he should wear pants. She was worried that he would get cold. I told her that he should be fine and Jared agreed. So, in the mouth of these two witnesses, we headed off.

We arrived at the American Airlines Center an hour early. We walked through the award-winning architectural masterpiece gathering all the free giveaways of the sponsors and credit card companies - drink koozies, foam fingers, towels, t-shirts, and posters. Having a five-year-old as your liason allows you to avoid signing up for the contests and credit cards. There aren't very many five-year-olds attending, so when Jared would ask, "Daddy, can I have one of those blue thingys?" the vendor would happily toss one his way. I didn't have to say a word.

After making off with all the free "treasure" we could find (mostly stuff I threw away when we got home), we headed to our seats. We still had about 30 minutes before the start of the game, and Jared was ready for something to munch on.

"Dad, I want some candy."

Not seeing any candy, I asked one of the vendors where I could find some. He said they don't sell candy before the game, and the only candy available during the game is cotton candy.

"Jared, they don't have any candy."

"But, where can we get some candy?"

"They don't have any candy here. They have ice cream, though."

"I don't really want ice cream, I just want candy."

"They don't have candy, they have ice cream."

"I don't want ice cream."

So, he deferred to a bucket of popcorn and a 7-Up (in the Dirk Nowitzki souvenir cup). However, on the way back to our seats, I had an idea that it wouldn't be long before he would be asking for some ice cream.

We arrived at our seats, and they were pretty good seats. They were about 15 rows up from the court and behind one of the baskets. It gave us an up-close view of the pounding in the paint. There was still about 20 minutes before the game would begin, so we ate popcorn, drank 7-Up, and watched the occassional player participate in their personal pre-game warm-up. We watched the Mav's drumline and spoke to some of the fans sitting around us. The pre-game entertainment, shown on the overhead big screen and on the floor, was pretty fun to watch.

Finally, after the well-sung national anthem and a purposely dull introduction of the visiting Bucks, the lights slammed off and the music blared. Spotlights and strobe lights flashed all around. The fans rose to their feet and cheered with anticipation. The arena announcer excitedly ripped of the names of each of the Maverick starters. The players high-fived each other and bumped chests. Jared loved it. He was standing on his seat and screaming with the best of them. After the line up was announced the lights popped on and the players were on the floor for the tip-off.

So it began. Yes, the game began, but more prominent than Avery Johnson's (Mav's coach) league leading offense, was Jared's offensive to distract my attention from anything basketball. Here is the play-by-play, and attention to the time stamp is important (each NBA quarter is 12 minutes long):

11:58 - "Daaaad, can I have some cotton candy?"

"Sure," I replied, "just keep your eye out for the cotton candy guy."

"Dad, I already see him, he's way over there. Can we go get some?" The cotton candy guy was half way across the arena.

"No, we have to wait until he gets closer. Keep your eye on him, and when he gets closer we can get some."

11:23 - "Dad, Dad, Dad, he's closer now! Can we get some cotton candy now?"

"Nope, he's not close enough yet."

10:45 - "Okay Dad, he's really close now. I can just go get it from him."


"No, the way it works is, when he gets over to our section, we wave our hand in the air and he brings it over to us. So, wait until he gets to our section."

9:33 - "Dad, the cotton candy guy is in our section now."

"No, he's on our side of the arena, but THIIIIIS is our section," pointing out our section to him. "Just watch the game for now, and I will make sure you get the cotton candy."

5:01 - "He's right there, Dad. He's in our section now." We waved our hand, called him over, and finally had our cotton candy.

Having now abandoned all hope of giving Jared his first basketball clinic, I resulted to candy as a means of keeping him entertained. I thought if there was anything that could keep his attention for awhile, it would be cotton candy.

3:24 - "Dad, are you going to have some cotton candy?"

"No, I am not going to eat any candy, but thanks."

2:02 - "Dad, I want you to have some cotton candy." I realized, after looking at the almost untouched bag of cotton candy, that he wasn't eating it. I was beginning to understand that he wanted me to eat some cotton candy because he was feeling a bit guilty that we bought it and he wasn't eating it.

"Jared, why aren't you eating it?"

"I forgot that I don't like cotton candy anymore," he said with a tinge of regret.

"Huh? When did you stop liking cotton candy?"

"I don't know, I just did," with an apologetic tone.

"It's okay, we can just take it home to Rowan."

1:26 - "Daaaaad, can I have some ice cream?"

"Not right now. Wait, I thought you said you didn't want ice cream?

"But, I do now."

"Maybe in the 2nd quarter we can get some."

"But, why Dad?"

"Because we just got cotton candy. Do you want some more popcorn?"

"Okay," a little somberly.

END OF THE FIRST QUARTER

11:22 - "Dad, what quarter is it?"

"It's the 2nd quarter. Dirk is having an awesome game. But, the Bucks are leading by 6 points. I think the Mavs need to switch to a 1-3-1 zone and shadow Michael Redd. He is killing them."

"I thought you said we can get some ice cream in the 2nd quarter?"

"I meant later in the 2nd quarter."

"Well, you saaaiiiid...."

"I know, but let's wait a little longer."

10:07 - "Dad, I'm cold."

"What? It's not even cold in here," I say - while wearing jeans.

"But, I'm cold."

"Here, come sit in my lap. It'll make you warm."

8:18 - "Dad, can I have some ice cream now?"

"I thought you said you were cold? Ice cream will just make you colder."

"I'm not cold anymore."

"Okay, just wait a little bit longer."

7:52 - "Dad, I need to go to the bathroom."

"Number 1 or number 2?" Not that it really mattered. I guess I just asked out of habit.

"Number 1."

"Can you hold it for a little longer," I asked, not wanting to leave the game while they were playing.

"No, I can't."

"Okay, let's go."

We arrived just outside the restrooms, and I noticed that there was a family restroom. Knowing these restrooms are usually cleaner and more private, we went inside the family restroom instead of the men's room. And it was a good thing, because after number 1, he decided number 2 was ready to come off the bench and enter the game.

"Don't look, Dad."

"I won't."

We washed our hands and headed for the ice cream stand. I figured since we were already up, we might as well knock the ice cream out of the way. He got a nice sized cup of Dreyer's vanilla ice cream. And, I must say, it kept him busy for most of the remainder of the 2nd quarter.

1:22 - "Dad, I'm cold."

"I knew you would get cold. Come sit in my lap."

"Mom told you I should wear pants."

"I know, but you said you didn't need pants."

"But Mom said I did, and you should have listened to Mom."

"I know."

0:53 - "Dad, who do you like better, the horses or the reindeer?" Even though he was laughing along with me, I think he was a little confused as to why I was laughing so hard. Just in case you are as confused as Jared was, here are the logos of the two teams:




















I guess I was laughing for several reasons. First, because others around us heard it and got a good kick out of it. Second, since he cheered so loudly every time the crowd cheered, I just assumed he understood for whom he was cheering. Third, I realized that it really is that simple to a boy his age. Tell him which animal to cheer for, and he will cheer his heart out for that team.

I told him, "I like the horses better. The horses are the Mavs and the reindeer are the Bucks. The Mavs are the best team in the league. They are the ones we were cheering for at the beginning of the game."

"Oh."

END OF THE 2ND QUARTER

After half time, we took our seats. The visiting team was now playing on our side of the court, and since we were behind the hoop, we were given poster-like bricks to be used to distract the free-throw shooters. Jared loved this. His eyes were peeled, searching for foul shooters after each whistle.

We watched, talked, and cheered. Once his stomach had its fill of popcorn, 7-Up, and ice cream, he was able to give his 5 year-old attention to the game. We had a ton of fun, and I really enjoyed spending time with Jared. He is a funny kid, and he keeps me entertained. The best part is he is well-behaved, which makes him easy to be with. I am glad he enjoys doing the same things that I enjoy.

The game was a tight one, going down to the final seconds, but the Mavs pulled out the win.

Next up - Perhaps an MLS soccer game or a Rangers baseball game.

Why Do You Ask?

Matthew 6:6-8 -

6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

If our Heavenly Father already knows what we need, why must we ask Him?

Get Yoked

Matthew 11:29-30 - The Savior Speaking:

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Most of us, at one time or another, have studied these verses and have committed these verses to memory. They give us comfort when things are tough. And when we are content, they remind us of the essence of the atonement - the "AT-ONE-MENT" with the Savior. After all, the atonement's reach extends far beyond the availability of repentance.

What does it mean to take HIS yoke upon ourselves? Here is a photo of a yoke:



So, if we are yoked with the Savior, what do we see?

We see what He sees, we go where He goes, at the pace He wishes us to go, and we do what He does. When we are yoked with Him, sharing our burdens with Him, we are then at one with Him. He then, through the power of His Spirit, makes our burdens seem lighter and more bearable. Most of the time, He even teaches us eternal truths through our burdens.

Can you imagine how Alma and his "Waters of Mormon" converts felt about this doctrine?

Mosiah 24:13-15 - (Read the entire chapter for context)

13 And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.

14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

Finally, to be yoked with Christ also means that He wishes for us to pull our own weight. We must do the work, our "Eternal Homework," in order for us to feel the "rest" unto our souls. Our souls will not feel rested unless we are pulling our weight, for if we are not, we will feel spiritually awkward when looking over at Christ on the other side of our yoke. Be assured, He will ask you to repent, and when you do, you will then feel His strength lift your burdens. The feeling of worthiness will strengthen your ability to work with Him, or to be AT ONE with Him.

Leadership and Self-Deception - Part 2

Here's what happened next:

"You might say I 'betrayed' my sense of what I should do for Nancy," he continued. "Now that's sort of a strong way to say it. But I just mean that in acting contrary to my sense of what was appropriate, I betrayed my own sense of how I should be toward another person. So we call such an act 'self-betrayal.'"

"...Picture the moment. I felt I should get up so Nancy could sleep, but then I didn't do it. I just stayed lying there next to Nancy, who also was just lying there."

As Bud was saying this, he drew the following in the middle of the board:"Now - in this moment, as I'm just lying there listening to our wailing child, how do you imagine I might've started to see, and feel, about Nancy?"

"Well, she probably seemed kind of lazy to you," I said. "Okay, 'lazy,'" Bud agreed, adding it to the diagram.

"Inconsiderate," I added. "Maybe unappreciative of all you do. Insensitive."

"...What do you think, Tom? Was Nancy really asleep?" "Oh, maybe, but I doubt it. Bud wrote "faker" on the diagram.

"But hold on a minute, Bud," Kate objected. "Maybe she was asleep - and probably, from the sounds of it, because she's worn out from doing everything for you," Kate added, obviously happy with the jab.

"Okay, good point," Bud said with a grin. "But remember, whether she actually was asleep is less important right now than whether I was thinking she was asleep. We're talking now about my perception once I betrayed myself. That's the point."

"So from the perspective of that moment," Bud continued again, looking at me, "if she was just feigning sleep and letting her child wail, what kind of mom do you suppose I thought she was being?"

"Probably a pretty lousy one," I said.
"And what kind of wife?"
"Again, pretty lousy - inconsiderate, thinks you don't do enough, and so on." Bud wrote this on the diagram as well.

"So, here I am," he said, backing away from the diagram and reading what he had written. "Having betrayed myself, we can imagine that I might've started to see my wife in that moment as 'lazy,' 'inconsiderate,' 'taking me for granted,' 'insensitive,' a 'faker,' a 'lousy mom,' and a 'lousy wife.'"

"Wow, Bud. Congratulations," said Kate, sarcastically. "You've managed to completely vilify one of the best people I know."

"I know. It's scary, isn't it?"

"But it's worse than that, even," Bud continued. "That's how I started to see Nancy. But having betrayed myself, how do you suppose I started to see myself?"


What do you guys think? How did he begin to see himself?

Human Genome Discovery

They finally found it. They have confirmed the suspicions of millions of men. The most brilliant geneticists of our day have finally found a female gene that many men have suspected existed. With over 3 billion subunits to search, it is no wonder they had such a hard time finding it. They have nicknamed it the "Lights Out" gene.

How many of you husbands find yourselves constantly walking around the house turning off lights! There is nothing "better" than walking upstairs to a plethora of rooms that haven't seen the breath of life for hours and seeing EVERY light switched on. To make things more confusing, when this happens during the daytime, all the blinds are open simultaneously. Anyhow, you then walk through the house turning lights off only to find that an hour later this process needs repeating. Of course, she blame the kids, but you then remember the time when the two of you didn't have kids. You were turning lights off then as well. In addition, the same scientists found the "Lights Out Gene" right next to the "Blame the Kids Gene." So, there is now scientific evidence to reject the old "kids did it" excuse.

I suppose it is possible that men have a similar gene that predisposes us to want the lights off. It is probably right next to the gene of practicality called the "I Don't Like to See Our Money Going Down the Drain" gene.

In both cases, men and women can now understand that, since it is part of our genetic make up, we just can't help it. Women leave lights on; men turn them off.

What do you think of this new discovery? Are there any other genes you suspect exists that you would like for the scientists to validate?

Leadership and Self-Deception

Joyce, my mother-in-law, sends me this book - the title of the book is Leadership and Self-Deception. Now, just put yourself in my place. At first, I seriously wondered if she was trying to tell me something. "Does she really think I have this huge problem of lying to myself?" I started thinking of anything I could have done to compel her to give me this crazy book. But, it turns out that it was recommended to her, so she read it and loved it. She then bought a bunch of copies for people she thought would enjoy it - at least that's what she told me!

I highly recommend this book. I know the title leads one to believe that it is one of those "business improvement" books, and it is. But, it approaches the issue from the perspective of the individual. So, by using this method, its principles and practices apply to anyone in all roles of life. I think it is especially helpful to mothers, fathers, husbands, and wives.

It is a quick read and you may find that your view of others will improve. The book teaches us that we all have a problem, and the problem is we oftentimes don't see our own problems. Hence, the "self-deception" part of the title. There are times that we betray ourselves, but are unable to see that we are doing it. And, frankly, it is this self-betrayal that causes most of the problems in our lives and our world. So, if we can be taught to see how we betray ourselves, we can work at reducing the amount of self-deception in our lives. And when we do this, our lives are more enriched and meaningful.

Here's one quick example from the book on how we may betray ourselves (epecially useful for those with kids):

"One night a number of years ago, when David was just an infant, I was awakened by his wailing cries. He was probably four months old or so at the time. I remember glancing at the clock. It was around 1:00 am. In the flash of that moment I had an impression or a sense or a feeling - a thought of something I should do. It was this: 'Get up and tend to David so Nancy can sleep.'

"Now, this sort of sense is very basic," he continued. "We're all people. I've grown up as a person, as you have and as Kate has. And, when you are out of the box and seeing others as people, we have a very basic sense about others - namely, that like me, they too have hopes, needs, cares, and fears. And on occasion, as a result of this sense, we have impressions of things we can do for them, things we want to do for them. You know what I'm talking about?"

"Sure, that's clear enough," I said.

"This was such an occasion - I felt a desire to do something for Nancy. But you know what?" he asked rhetorically, "I didn't act on it. I just stayed there, listening to David wail."

So, the question I ask now is - what do you think happened next?

IF YOU HAVE ALREADY READ THE BOOK, PLEASE DON'T GIVE IT AWAY, but feel free to add any humorous comments.